I shit you not.
A man from Northern Ireland has been jailed after an experiment in which he attempted to turn his own faeces into gold went wrong and started a fire in a block of flats.
Paul Moran will now serve three months in jail and a further 12 months on license after the failed experiment caused a fire at his Housing Executive home in Derrin Park, Enniskillen.
Moran admitted arson and endangering the lives of others in the fire, which reportedly caused over £3,000 worth of damage.
It is thought that as part of the bizarre experiment Moran left his faeces, along with other waste products such as fertiliser, on a heater.
In his ruling Judge McFarland told Moran: “Rather bizarrely you were attempting to make gold from human faeces and waste products.
“It was an interesting experiment to fulfil the alchemist’s dream, but wasn’t going to succeed.”
Moran’s barrister mentioned that his client was a man of ‘considerable intellectual ability’ but that he had problems battling drug abuse.